Thank you

Thanks to my friend, Tony, keep on support me not to give up my love.
Eventhough he is younger than me, but he is a guy.
Eventhough he is telling me that he never been in relationship yet, but he is understanding.
Eventhough he knows that I'm going to give up, but he ask me not to..

I dunno if he is right or not, all the guys are different.
and.. he is never been at KL, and he never know how's the KL guy..
He is using his feeling of being a guy, to tell me what is happening there, but...
I also dunno, if HE is really meant what Tony explain to me..

But, Tony, I only can say...
Sometimes i rather to give up than just wait and see...

Love, some are sweet, some are not.
Fell in love with someone, means that I not enough love myself.
Fell in love, you can feel the sweet, but mostly the sweet is come out from the pain and hurt..
You need to feel hurt, then only you can feel sweet if you realize it.
See, IF only you realize it, then only you can feel the sweet of Love.

Love is patient, yes, it is.
And I'm so sorry that I don't have that patient.
I just like my daddy, rushing all the time, not wanting to waste any minute of my life, especially by someone else!
But yet, I waste my time a lots for HIM, I wait for HIM a lots more than I wait for myself.
Not in feeling I'm sorry..

I can use 5-10 mins to finish make up!
I can use half an hour to prepare everything then go out from my house.
I can use only 45 minutes or an hour to go through a chapter or 2, then walk into exam hall.
I can use 1 hour to finish quarter of novel and a comic!!
I can use 2 and half an hour to finish whole novel if I want.

Imagine, I used to wait for him up to 2 to 3 hours, just wait for him to come and find me.
Well, I'm sorry I'm not blaming him, I'm just try to telling you that, I never wait for myself that long before..and I learn to now..
Maybe I'm too rush...

So, my friend, Tony, I would like to say..
I wanna quit..
I wanna give up..
Cause I feels like, I don't fit him.

My Happy and Unhappy Day..

Today is not my really happy day, but I'm still consider quite happy today.

Not happy is because of, I message him again, ask him if he is free at evening time or not, and he reject me again!! He said he is at Grand Millennium Hotel and his schedule is tight today.
Why I'm not happy? That's because of he never reject me before, he never tell me that he is busy before,he normally will said that he would arrange the time for me, and he will just check the schedule and see if he is busy at that day or time or not. He will always give me surprise on time, and he would always appear in front of me... Eventhough he is busy that day..

I'm happy is because of even though without his company, I still can make my day full!!
In a very special condition, I'm meet my net friend, Miss Pink, at Sungei Wang. She said sorry to me cause she only can be with me till 5 or 6 pm due to she got another date of meeting friend at Times Square at bout that time, it's OK for me cause I can get the guess of it too..
After we separated, when I on the way walking to Pavilion from Sg Wang, suddenly remind one of my friend, Faith, who is working around Bukit Bintang too, and it's not far from there. At the next second, I directly call her, see if I get her or not.

So lucky that I get her, and I straightly change my way turn to her shop. Haha.. I get a German Beer and take a try... And I didn't bring anything to her, so I just gave her one of the shirt I bought with Miss Pink, hope the gal won't mind, cause I didn't do fully prepare and I suddenly thinking of giving her that sexy skirt, but she is pregnant LOL~ I just hope that it won't disappointed her too much..

At Faith's working place, suddenly I get a strange number ( I realise that my friends all like to call me by using the strange number =.= , so normally I will just pick up the phone eventhough who is calling ), and it's my high school classmate!! Haha! what a lucky busy day!!

So~~~ After I get out from Faith's shop, I straightly heading to Kota Raya, cause my that High School Classmate, Hui Yieng is shopping at Petaling Street with her family. I been there and chat have a small gathering with them, know all of her family members, LOL~ then only I get back myself once they get into Taxi and heading back to their Hotel.

Well, conclusion is,
He reject me. I'm sad. Really sad at what he had done to me..
My friends full fill my today, I'm happy, cause I got no time to blame him and blame myself.
This is the day I can go through Without Him!!

Hurt Myself..

This is the Scar after I fall down at SkyTrex.


All of my friends said that it's just looks like I been rapped or Motorcycles Accident like that..
LOL~

Kena Virus!!

Today early morning bout 7.00 am I woke up already..
I thought I'm late and I didn't on my alarm, but it's not, I really wake up too early =D

And I found myself wake up with gooood mooddd...
I love my today when I wake up =))
It's just that, I miss him again.. I thinking of him, I wanna dream bout him..
Till the Radio(alarm) on, my MixFm is playing the lovely songs..it make my day too =)
Everything is so good and so nice, and I love my morning too..
Eventhough I thinking at him, I didn't feel any heart broken or pain or unwell.

I thought I'm fine, I thought I'm clean,
just like PC, after scan viruses, delete, then restart. CLEAN..

But I'm wrong, I just scan the virus, I forgot to uninstall the programme . Wish I can!! Uninstall the Love Feeling software and no more hurt feeling anymore!!

In this lovely day. I automatically wanna plan to have a movie, so I'm thinking of HIM again!!!
Gosh.. Can I message him? Gosh.. I starting nervous..
So far only Him, will just agree what I planned, what I want and what I need.. (but I never tell him what I need LOL~) and just go on what I want..
Till, I cannot take it, I message!
"would you like to watch movie with me tonight at 8pm?"

Wait... no reply.. cause he never reply so soon one...
Till I'm reach my shop, online, saw him on the line too.. so i just give him a line..
" morning, just wonder if you receive my msg or not"
and then, I thought He won't reply me..till he pop out again " Good morning, wait let me check."

At that time, my heart is taking up, hanging suddenly..
next is, " sorry i can't go movie tonight, coz im going to Pahang this evening, I'm doing slideshow now"
Then , my heart is dropping down....Ouch..

What a lovely day ..
and What a bad day too ..
1st invite after That message, He reject me..

After a while I chatting with Him, I found that my heart and my brain still got Virus.. =(
Too bad...

At the same time , It's 10.00 am, I need to sneak out from the computer and do my job, cause manager will "look" at me and later on will starting "xxXXXxxxxXXXx" so better move fast fast..
I found he willing to chat more with me, but so sorry Dude, I can't, cause I got to work..